Wednesday, April 6, 2016

For the Single Christian Woman Who's Tired of THAT Question

Hi, my name is Gwendolyn Evans. I am thirty...cough...ahem years old and I am SINGLE. Yep, that's right.  My left ring finger is naked, except for when I rock one of my fabulous rings.  Meanwhile, when I say single, I mean, like for real, for real...single.  I am not entertaining a male acquaintance, it's not going down in my DMs and I don't have a "friend" around just for companionship.  

For me, being single at this point in my life is by divine appointment.  Just to clarify, my meaning of divine... I'm talking about Yahweh, Jesus' dad.  Let me be clear, yes I do want to get married and have a family someday, but in the meantime... I'm good.  I know it's hard for some people to grasp this concept, but I really am okay.  Why you ask?  Because I live my life on, in and about purpose.  

I believe that God put me here on this earth to do something great.  So that's what I'm doing. The thing that works my nerve about folk, specifically church folk and family folk, is this constant questioning of the status of my left finger and/or my uterus.  Now look here, I understand some of it is genuine concern, but most of it is just plain old busybodied-ness.  Is that a word?  Well it's going to be one today.  

Listen, I am NOT here for your personal love connection skills, which by the way SUCK!  At some point these people ASSUMED that because my life wasn't moving at THEIR expected pace that I need their UNSOLICITED help.  Oh. Em. Gee! The "candidates" that have been brought to my attention make me want to say, "Do you even like me?  Do you know anything about me?  How much thought did you put into that before you approached me with this option?  Why do you insist on trying my life?"  

It's like come on people... I'm good.  Unless you see me around here moping, behaving in a thirsty manner, or suicidal on Facebook due to loneliness, ASSUME that I'm good. ASSUME that I'm happy.  ASSUME that I'm content in my single life.  ASSUME that I'm having fun. ASSUME that I believe the Bible that I confess to believe in and that I'm not worried because I know God's got me. 

My Bible tells me in 1 Corinthians 7:34 that, "The unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit..."  My life revolves around doing what God told me to do (see for documented proof), enjoying my family, enjoying my friends, traveling and pretty much selfishly spending my time the way I want to with no regard for anyone else's opinion.  I am enjoying my season of singleness because guess what, I am going to enjoy the mess out of my married life. That's right people. It's important to enjoy whatever season you're in because seasons change.  

So if you are a part of the "folk" that harass the single person about their status in life... STOP IT I SAY. Why don't you pray that God sends them the godly spouse that you're so desperate for them to have and give them encouragement on how to be a good spouse when that person arrives.  If you're the single person who is tired of being harassed, cornered and questioned, I say it's time to cut off the un-edifying chatter and LIVE YOUR LIFE!  Besides, once you get married they're going to ask you when you're having a baby.  Then as soon as you give them this baby, they're going to ask you when are you having another one.  See the pattern? People cannot be satisfied, so you have to be.  

Go live your life. Stop waiting on a spouse to validate you, God has already done that. Find your purpose and get your Kingdom Grind on.  I'm on mine and I'm telling you it's a wild ride that NEVER has a dull moment.  I'll leave you with this. Cyrus Flanagan, one of the greatest men I have ever known said, "You don't marry a person, you marry a destiny." Therefore, your marriage is an assignment from God.  If you're not able to focus on your assignment as a single person, how will you ever be able to focus on your assignment as a married person with all the things that will be added to your plate when you say, "I Do."  To everything there is a season (Ecclesiastes 3:1).

Until Next Time,



  2. Awwww thank you. It takes one to recognize another. 😘

  3. That was great encouragement Melinda
    Hope more young people will take heed and stop setteling for some one that not even for them...just to say they have somebody when they really don't even believe they have somebody they might have the body but the heart is not there...Say Amen somebody...might not be as young as you but the single life in Father YHWH is great!!! ��

  4. Thank you and amen! I'll wait for God's best.. No settling over here!